Finding out and telling parents I was pregnant at 19.

So there I was, 19 years old, first year of university, new boyfriend, loving life. Never in a million years did I expect to see 'Pregnant, 3+" staring back at my from the Clearblue digital test I had just taken! 


Even though I was 2 weeks late at the time, pregnancy hadn't even entered my mind! I'd had many months before where I was that late (and later, I'd skipped months before!) and just thought it was going to be another awkward month, that and I was taking the pill! The only reason I had decided to do a test was to shut my mum up who had been suggesting I was pregnant since I told her my period was late. In fact I was so adamant that I wasn't pregnant that I was going to post her the negative test!!! (didn't quite work out!) 

-looking back we realised I had taken some medication for a cold around the time of conception, which must have been enough to knock my pill out for a few days! Long enough at just the right time for us to conceive-

Me and Ian had only been together for 4 months when we found out that we were expecting. I remember so vividly sat on his flat's bathroom floor, staring at this test and just bursting into tears! Surprisingly, Ian wasn't the first to know, in fact he was 3rd! I panicked and rang my Grandma first as I couldn't face telling my mum. While on the phone to her my auntie rang her too and she had to tell her what was happening to get her off the phone!! It was my Grandma who reminded me that I should probably tell Ian! I had been locked in the bathroom for a while by that point so he was probably wondering what was going on!

Heart racing, convinced he was going to kick off, kick me out and leave me, I sent the scariest text I'd ever sent. All I said was 'I need you.'

He didn't reply for what felt like forever, instead he walked into the bathroom and I looked at him waiting for him to kick off, and he knelt down, hugged me and just held me whilst I cried, apologising! The first thing he said was 'everything's going to be okay. Do you want to go home?' (I was living in Leicester for university at the time but I am originally from Nottingham.)
We packed a bag and left for the station.

- talking to Ian after the event he said he had kind of guessed before I'd even text. He said if I wasn't I'd have come out brandishing the test but the fact that I had locked myself in the bathroom for so long meant he cottoned on. My 'I need you text' just confirmed it for him -

When we got back to my Grandmas, I still couldn't believe it, so took the other 2 Clearblue tests I had, both came back with the same result. 
Oh no - I had to tell my mum. 
She was working at the time and I didn't want to tell her over the phone so I sent her a text asking her to come to Grandmas after she finished work. When she turned up I remember her walking in and all she said was 'I was right wasn't I?' and, for what felt like the millionth time that day, I just cried! But she wasn't mad and for that I have always been, and will forever be, grateful!

Other family members were less than pleased, shall we say, and it caused quite a lot of tension to start with! Then there was just Ian's family to tell, some of whom I hadn't even met yet and here we are telling them I'm pregnant!!! It meant so much that all of Ian's family were supportive and actually really excited. This was to be the first grandchild for both sets of parents. The one comment I remember the most was from Ian's Gran who simply asked 'so whens the wedding?'

We knew from the beginning that we were keeping him so when I went back to University a week later, we made all the necessary appointments with the midwife and got the ball rolling. I finished my first year of University and made the decision to leave rather than having a baby half way through the second year. I still feel like I made the right decision as this meant I had enough funding to return later and complete another degree (which is something that is in the pipeline to happen next year!)

Then there was just the pregnancy to get through!! And that was a whole other journey in itself!

CONVERSATION

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